Tonight is Christmas Eve and there is only silence in our home. As is true for many seniors, we are outside the hubbub of the holiday itself. Our children are far flung and very busy. The over-80 crowd is challenged by travel, used to furniture which will allow easy rising and numerous mobility aids. With love, we have agreed with our children that holiday travel is not in the cards this year, and may not be again.

The silence gives opportunity for joyous reflection of Christmas past, memories that can be viewed and treasured best in silence (maybe with a musical soundtrack). I have decades of memories….

• Memories of trudging through innumerable stores in the numbing cold to find my father’s requested red turtleneck sweater, a gift to show my adolescent love for my father and his quirky, colorful style.
• Visions of the jewelry-encrusted evergreen branch my college roommates affixed to our mirror as our holiday decoration.  We laughingly gathered a discarded branch to which we added our favorite jewelry. Free, shared, crafted with joy.
• The sounds and smells of our newborn daughter nestled in her car seat under the Christmas tree: the only and most meaningful present under our tree.
• The sight of our toddler carefully inspecting each gift as she opened it to our pleasure and dismay; it took hours to open her few gifts. Her concentration was a miracle to see.
• The togetherness of our neighbor’s annual Christmas Eve party with the traditional sandwich loaf and homemade glog. The glee of our hostess when she accurately guessed another child would be born the following year, a secret too wonderful not to share.
• The exhaustion of late nights making pajamas for our children to wear on Christmas Eve to enhance their father’s photographs and wrap them in flannel love.
• The advent of boyfriends and grandchildren who helped with cookie baking and distribution to neighbors and friends – and themselves. Thus we passed on our traditions to the next generation. This year, a fortuitous granddaughter visit was essential to our decorating. We rejoice in the light she left us.

In some ways, I miss the endless shopping, wrapping and preparation which comes with gift giving. I miss the boisterous joy as the children open each loving gift. It’s silent here tonight, a silence I treasure and welcome while still remembering the sights, sounds and smells of love in the air during past holiday seasons.  Tomorrow we will celebrate with children and grandchildren. Technology will bring us together for an exchange of gifts and love. Our community dining room will be filled with friends and families. In silence or togetherness, love is in the air during this season. Happy holidays to you.