My upcoming 80^th birthday is likely my last major milestone birthday. The NIH predicts that a white woman who is 80 today will likely live only another 7-9 years.  Reaching 80 means I  survived once-common childhood diseases (like polio and measles). I and my living age-mates also escaped (mercifully) homicide, fatal accidents and war. Whew! The illness most likely to dispatch me and my 80+-year old friends is heart disease. Cancer slides into second place.

For younger adults, 80+-year olds may be seen as pathetic, struggling, or just plain out of touch. (My beloved granddaughters have had to teach me text and social media.) To our children and grandchildren, we reached elderly at age 50 or 60; only as they age does their definition of elderly begin to change.  Possibly surprising to all of us, is that we elderly are actually quite happy. Roughly a third of 80+-year olds report they are “very happy”.  A 2022 AARP study identified that almost half of us consider ourselves in excellent or very good health. This is despite common diagnoses of hypertension, arthritis, diabetes, or coronary artery disease.

We do worry about mobility, memory and hearing loss, as we should, because those losses impair our relationships. Still citing the 2022 AARP study, 85% of 80+-year olds consider their relationships with family and/or friends to be strong. They find these connections to be a source of joy. We work to nurture those relationships. Yet, dinners with friends don’t work well in noisy restaurants, and visits to family and friends may need significant travel. Many of us are giving up travel. Hearing garbled announcements, running to the changed gate, fear of falling are simply overwhelming risks.  By the time we reach 80+-years old, these issues have also encouraged 43% of us to recognize that we need to consider abandoning our independent living dreams. I worry a lot about my friends and relatives who spend much of every day isolated. Every day, I am grateful to live in a senior community where I can walk to a variety of social activities.

Then, there is death. Fear of death is not a big fear among 80+ year olds. Only 4% of 80+-year olds are afraid of dying; an amazing 47% feel prepared for death. It may be difficult for us to discuss death and dying with our children, but we freely discuss and joke about it with our elderly age-mates. Death among us is normal and expected.

So, happy birthday to me! I’m elderly, happy, healthy, enjoying my relationships and not afraid of death. How amazing is that!