My least favorite word is “should.”  When I visualize should I see a parent lecturing a child. Should often accompanies recommendations for lifestyle changes such as diet, exercise and sleep. At the first should, I stop listening. Throughout our long lives, we elderly have developed lifestyle habits which work for us. We don’t need to talk about the shoulds.  Instead, let’s focus on the behavioral practices of my agemates, freely shared and readily observed. Here is what I have learned from my fellow seniors about stress reduction:

• Stay hydrated. Keep a cup of tea or a glass of water nearby, AND drink 2 glasses of liquid at meals. Age brings thinning skin, desensitization to thirst stimuli, decreased kidney function—all of which can dry us out. Dehydration leads to the mega stresses of balance issues, falls, low blood pressure and cognitive decline. A couple of examples: a neighbor was periodically incoherent and irrational. Her worried children decided to move her to assisted living. During her short preliminary stay in assisted living, her dehydration was noted and treated. This treatment enabled her to remain independent for several more years. In a second situation, a feisty 96-year old church member regularly fainted during Sunday services. Each time an ambulance was called. Ultimately, she was diagnosed with simple dehydration. The decrease in blood volume caused low blood pressure, high heart rate and  fainting. Hydration is so important that our community created a publication to encourage it.
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• Learn something. Learning is cheap, easy to find, and a great way to reward and generate curiosity. Technology is constantly evolving; for some of us, smart watches, computers and smart TVs are an evolving challenge. Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes are found in 150 locations around the country. Our community, churches and most senior centers sponsor periodic seminars. If all else fails, there are TED talks and podcasts. Another way of describing the experience of learning is engagement with our world.
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• Laugh frequently. How often did you laugh today? Laughter has a load of benefits: endorphins, immune response, heart health, decreased blood pressure, social interaction. Kids laugh a lot, but we get more intense and more sober as we age. Society doesn’t help; it’s considered rude to laugh at elderly dilemmas. Have you seen the movie “Thelma” with mobility carts in a nursing home (that’s Thelma above).  Do your friends share jokes via email? Do you regularly read the AARP joke site? GoComics is a subscription service. It will send you Pickles and other comics of your choice every day. It’s just like the old days when we got newspapers every day!
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• Find Purposeful work. At our age, such work is all around us. Visit a sick friend or neighbor, or call them. Organize a small social gathering. Write a memory. Sort and discard some of that clutter. Read my blog post about the inspirational centenarian for whom service to fellow residents provides purpose. Numerous opportunities for volunteering are available as well. Not all require leaving your nest.
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• Solve a puzzle or play a game. Many of us seniors play solitaire, wordle or something similar each day. It’s not a waste of time. The health benefits are numerous. Some include stress relief, focus, cognitive challenge, and problem solving. There are more benefits (for a list of solitaire’s health benefits, click here). Solitaire games and jigsaw puzzles are self-directed teaching activities. They are akin to Montessori techniques which are now being adapted for the elderly. (Hurrah! I can look forward to assisted living.)

Which of these techniques do you use? What others would you suggest?   Aging is stressful; letting go of beloved activities, possessions, and life itself isn’t easy.  However, we can find joy in letting go of stress—and isn’t that what it’s all about?

Uncharted Waters,
Living Life While Letting Go,
Holding onto Joy