My friend Robin stood quietly pondering the café ice cream display. So many choices: blueberry pomegranate, rum raisin. The server gently suggested mango sorbet, but Robin shook her head. Others came for ice cream and suggested their favorite to Robin. She began to look anxious. The decision was overwhelming; finally she returned to her seat, empty-handed.

Nancy, whose room is at the end of a long hall, suddenly appeared before me near the main entrance. She greeted me warmly and confided that she was very tired. I took her arm and offered to walk with her to her room, hoping that we could find a place to rest on the way.  At the first corner, she anxiously queried whether I knew the way, as she did not.

Robin and Nancy are showing significant cognitive decline. Science is still arguing about whether that decline began as early as 20 years of age, or in midlife. That debate doesn’t really matter to those of us over 75. Most of us are in cognitive decline. We jokingly refer to it as having senior moments.   Those few elderly who aren’t experiencing cognitive decline are considered abnormal and labeled “super-agers.”  Some cognitive decline is reversible (medication, illness, stress and anxiety, for example), some is not.

Thankfully, not all cognitive decline progresses to dementia. My friends in the example above are suffering from cognitive decline sufficient to call them persons with dementia. A 2022 Columbia University study concluded that “3% of people between 65 and 69 had dementia, rising to 35% for people age 90 and over.”   A person with dementia will have difficulty solving problems (deciding upon ice cream) and maintaining emotional control. They may be unable to navigate familiar localities. Personality changes may also occur, leading to greater irritability and increased anger. It is impossible for them to live safely without help.

Lifestyle changes can reduce the risk of dementia. As you might expect, good diet and proper sleep are recommended by the Alzheimer’s Foundation. Regular mental and physical exercise are also recommended. Social interaction is important; there is some indication that social isolation is a powerful risk factor for dementia. That’s why our community encourages tools like my mobility scooter, provides cots for visiting family members, and strongly encourages the residents with and without dementia to interact with one another.

I recently had an experience which seemed a premonition of dementia. Under stress, feeling unwell, I was asked to provide an easy articulate solution to a complex problem. I could hear the words. I even understood the problem. However, I felt surrounded in fog as I probed my mind for a response. There were no answers available; my sense of helplessness increased my stress. I was left shaking and fearful. For me, the experience was a wake-up call to minimize stress in my life.

 Dementia is increasing. This is simply because the percentage of those over 85 is the fastest growing segment of the US population. Most of us won’t experience dementia. However, we will experience the fear of it. We will also interact with those suffering from it. Might as well know what we can…..